Umbridge: “Boys and girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other.”
[gay wizard laughter]
A five year old at the gas station said he liked my “bat woman” tattoo excitedly. His father condescendingly asked how many I had. I told him I had 11. He scoffed and asked how waiting tables all my life sounded and I said, “it’s alright on the weekends, but throughout the week I’m your son’s teacher.” He walked out without another word.
he may be a ninety six year old soviet master assassin sniper with two dozen confirmed political kills that could kill me with the littlest finger on his bionic metal arm in my sleep but he is too precious for this world and must be protected at all costs